A downloadable game

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Home of the Blood Sea Games - the toughest athletic competition in the region that brings together pumped pirates, swole sailors, and muscley merfolk to battle for the coveted Bejeweled Belt of the Beach.

In this inaugural issue, we dive headfirst into analyzing this year's crews, give the inside scoop on the hottest spots on the island, and interview our esteemed judges. Batten down the hatches and retract the periscope, this is going to be one typhoon of a tournament, folks!

Part in-world magazine, part setting guide, MUSSEL BEACH is designed to uniquely tell the story of the Blood Sea region, its inhabitants, and their obsession with strength. Articles, prose, and tables provide tools for Referees to plunder ideas for their own campaigns. Or the entire location can be placed anywhere in your world needing an anachronistic athletic tournament featuring seafaring folks.

It is written using the rules for MEATHEADS by Mark Conway, but can easily be adapted to any Old School tabletop system. Like MEATHEADS, it is inspired by bodybuilding and wrestling - but with a heavy dollop of whimsy a la The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack.



Within it's sturdy pages, you will find:

  • Maps of Mussel Beach, the Blood Sea Games event schedule, and an in-depth guide to the notable locations around the island.
  • Profiles on the six competing tag teams - The Gutless Goons, The Royal Athletic Aquatic Club, G.A.I.N.S., Mariana Benchpress, Northern Fights, and The Commission, along with gorgeous illustrations of their crews.
  • A-Squat-ic Adventure - an underwater excursion to explore the North Beach's Sunken Stadium for treasure, revenge, and/or insurance purposes.
  • A wildlife bestiary examining the unique flora and fauna flexing on our shores.
  • Tables for rumors, adventure hooks, and nautical name generation.
  • A Missed Connections section for star-crossed sailors.
  • Tasteful ads (which double as gameable items and services).
  • And more!


The crew of the Gherkin Collective includes these rascals:

Brina / RatGrrrl Games - Writer. Gender Malcontent. Alphabet Imp. Queer in every Sphere.

Auto Guy - Writer, illustrator, and precious few times, finisher. 

J.M. Dale - Functionally an artist, nominally a writer, and sort of a musician. Lover, fighter. @mrcleanofficial

Inkysuns - Illustrator of beefcakes and monsters, mostly. Resident horror, cowboy, and cool rock enthusiast. @inkysuns

Roque Romero - Noisy pencil eater, horrid screen breaker, and for all things Procrasti-funny! 

The Gonzo GM - Hey that's me! Pirate, multimedia artist, and writer with a focus on whimsical stories. Recently 5th place at a CrossFit comp (out of 6 teams). @thegonzogm

Special Guest artists:

Crom - Illustrator of the beefy Northern Fights team. @cromsferatu

Ricardo Diseño - Illustrator of the amazing cover art. @ricardo_diseno

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